story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

Bro lol

(via godshideouscreation)


I hate it when you really need to talk to a friend about something important because you feel like your world is crashing down on you but they act like you don’t exist until their problems occur.

(via imlostinmyownmindwheredoigo)



judge in court: everything u say will be held against u
me: boobs
jury: haha
lawyer: haha
judge: haha case dismissed


(via letmebuyyoucocaine)


F is for vodka

U is for vodka

N is for vodka.

(via bunnymuffin)